During the holiday season we’re bombarded with evidence why we should not be like the Grinch. When the truth is being like the Grinch is not always bad and sometimes it’s just what we need.

The truth is during the holidays I say give yourself permission to be the Grinch (at least for a little while). Give yourself permission to skip holiday parties or get-togethers if need be. The truth is being a Grinch isn’t selfish and I do not agree with the definition of one at all if we look at it in respect to grief! The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word Grinch as “a grumpy person who spoils the pleasure of others.” So, let’s take a closer look at what I mean. .

The truth is being a Grinch isn’t always a bad thing. Have you ever considered “Grinch Grief?” For people going through grief it’s simple. . . they are not being a Grinch. . instead they may be taking care of themselves while grieving. On the outside, they may look like the Grinch by doing such things as holding a crabby or gloomy face, being quiet, and preferring not to participate in holiday activities or conversation even if they show up as a guest. On the inside, however, things may be a totally different story. On the inside, they may be grieving and too afraid to let anyone see it.

This time of year, can be especially hard for those who have lost a loved one, those going through a divorce, those with loved ones deployed in the military, and for many other reasons. All of these life events and changes may cause the “Grinch Grief” I described above. Another thing to consider is it also does not matter how long ago the loss or change has taken place. Please do not assume because someone got divorced five years ago or lost their child ten years ago, they should not be caught up in grief. That is just not true! Instead, consider our grief does not go away with time we just learn to live with the change it brings. So, sometimes yes being a Grinch may mean this person should be encouraged to spend time alone if that is what they decide. Encouraging them to take time alone can be just as important as encouraging them to be surrounded by loved ones. In the end, this type of action with “Grinch Grievers” can help their heart grow three sizes by the support, love, and encouragement of their grief process by those around them.

All the best during the holidays!