Most people know and understand the word grief. For many of us this word alone has the ability to send us into a downward spiral of memories, thoughts, and feelings related to our experiences of the past. Someday this Coronavirus will be just another memory to add to our locker of experiences. Someday these memories will become a little big foggy and not so intense.

But today is not someday…

today is TODAY.

And Today,

I have a Beef with Corona Grief.

The grief this COVID-19 is spreading beyond the virus itself.

So, I have no doubts these past few weeks may have brought up some of these things from the past along with new things as you deal with current events. And, you may be thinking you are alone. I am here to say “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!”

In the past few days, actor John Stamos (one of my favorites growing up from the TV show Full House) took to instagram and posted the lyrics to the song “It’s a Small World.” And, it gave me a little inspiration.

Look at these lines of the song:

“It’s a world of laughter
A world of tears
It’s a world of hope
and a world of fears
there’s so much that we share….”

This song represents this time perfectly as neighbors and for our cities, states, the United States and countries around the globe. We are in this together. . . we are all connected.

At this time, grief is in our community. There’s a term for this type of grief known as collective grief. That’s right there are soooo many types of grief, but this one is far reaching. Grief is staring us in face in the news and social media, staring us in the face as children ask why their schools are closed or they cannot play with friends, staring us in the face when we look at our bank account and wonder “What is next?” All of these things are collective grief…. It’s a shared experience. And although each of our stories are unique the circumstances surrounding it may not be.

So, what feelings or emotions might be attached?

Again, no easy answer. But here are some common ones in the grief journey itself: an overwhelming sense of anxiety, sadness, anger, fear, confusion, frustration, hopefulness or hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness. And all of them could happen over a whole bunch of things including money, children, family members, our own health, education, job loss, and the uncertainty of the future.

My advice is do the best you can and even a little more to BE THERE!

* Be there for your kids. You may think they are too young to grasp what’s going on, but if you think that you are mistaken. They are feeling it just as much as us adults. Be open to talk to your kids about their feelings. Get active…. Find those old photo albums or home movies and have a laugh or get out those board games or cards collecting dust and use them!

* Be there for your neighbor (whether next door or in the next state). Call, text, email, and use social media to spread connectedness.

* Be there for all the workers in the trenches of this. Say thank you. Offer them a snack or water. If you HAVE EXTRA SUPPLIES like gloves, masks, etc. please donate them to your local places especially nursing homes and assisted living facilities.

* Be there for people that have Coronavirus or are waiting for their results. Do not blame them. Do not shame them. Instead, check-in on them whenever possible keeping a safe distance.

* Be there to shut off the TV and to put away phones and electronics. We all need a break from hearing updates. It may be true the situation is constantly changing, but having small breaks to do other things is so important.

* Be there for yourself. It is so important to take some time for extra self-care. Make it mandatory for everyone in your household. Make it fun to learn new ways to chill, relax, and tend to your needs. Find ways to laugh among all the chaos.

* Be there to give yourself a break and ask for help. We are all doing the best we can and learning as we go. You are not in this alone.

And, how do I plan to BE THERE?

As a therapist, I’m looking for different ways to attend to our collective grief and #mybeefwithcoronagrief. Here’s what I came up with so far. Let’s share our collective grief and community experiences!

“What are you doing and how are you dealing with your grief from the coronavirus?” . . . 

Some of us may deal with it through humor by memes for example. Some of us may need to vent out of anger or sadness. However, you need it is okay.

So, my question is what’s yours? Share your thoughts, pictures, whatever is on your mind. And don’t forget to use the hashtags below.

#mybeefwithcoronagrief #imprintedcounseling #mygriefprints